Why you keep having the same argument, whatever it appears to be about
The dishes are not the subject. Pursue and withdraw is a loop with its own logic, and neither person is running it on purpose.
4 min readRead the article
Articles
Relationship patterns: attachment, conflict and repair
Most relationship difficulty is not caused by a lack of love. It is caused by two protection systems triggering each other faster than either partner can think. These articles look at the pattern between people rather than the faults within them.
Anxious and avoidant: why the two of you trigger each other so precisely
One needs reassurance to calm down, the other needs space to calm down, and each person's medicine is the other person's poison.
3 min readRead the article
Rebuilding trust after betrayal: what the first year actually involves
Forgiveness is not a decision you make once. It is what is left after a long sequence of small predictable behaviours.
3 min readRead the article
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