Personality and relational patterns
Online Therapy for Personality Disorders
Long-term psychotherapy for emotional regulation, self-image and the relationship patterns that keep repeating.
Psy. Moustafa Kamel, Psychotherapist. Online sessions of 50 minutes in English and Arabic.
A word about the label
Personality disorder is a diagnostic term, and it is a poor description of a person. It describes patterns of emotion, self-image and relating that formed early, usually for good reasons at the time, and that now cause difficulty in circumstances they were never designed for.
Some people arrive with a diagnosis already given and a great deal of stigma attached to it. Others arrive with no diagnosis at all, saying only that the same thing keeps happening in their relationships and they cannot see their own part in it. Both are welcome, and neither needs a label to begin work.
What people usually describe
These patterns are frequently rooted in early attachment experience and in trauma, and dissociation is often part of the picture.
- Emotions that arrive at full intensity and take a long time to settle
- Relationships that begin intensely and end abruptly
- Fear of abandonment, and behaviour that follows from it
- A sense of self that shifts depending on who is in the room
- Chronic emptiness
- Difficulty trusting, alongside difficulty being alone
- Impulsive decisions taken to end an unbearable feeling
- Self-criticism severe enough to be its own problem
- Being told repeatedly that you are too much, or too distant
How this work is approached
It starts with a comprehensive psychological assessment. Not to categorise you, but to build an accurate picture of how the patterns formed, what they protected against, and where they now cost more than they provide.
The therapy itself is long term by nature. Emotional patterns established over decades do not shift in eight sessions, and any claim to the contrary should be treated sceptically. My approach is depth oriented and integrative: we work on regulating emotion in the present while examining the relational history that made these responses reasonable, using structured evidence-based methods where they fit.
The therapeutic relationship is itself part of the work. Patterns that appear in your other relationships will appear here too, which is inconvenient and extremely useful. When it happens, we look at it together rather than treating it as a rupture.
What change looks like
Not a different personality. A widened repertoire. A longer gap between feeling and acting. Recognising a pattern while it is happening rather than a week later. Relationships that survive disagreement. A self-image that is not rewritten by the last conversation you had.
Progress in this work is uneven, and periods of going backwards are part of it rather than evidence of failure.
Suitability, and being honest about limits
This work suits people who can commit to regular sessions over a sustained period and who are not currently in acute crisis. If you are at frequent risk of serious self-harm, you are likely to need a local service that can provide crisis support alongside therapy, and I will say that clearly at assessment rather than take on work I cannot hold safely from a distance.
I do not claim to deliver a branded manualised programme for a specific diagnosis. I offer individualised long-term psychotherapy with specialised training in personality disorders, which is a different thing and worth stating precisely.
Practical details
Sessions are 50 minutes by secure video, in English or Arabic, usually weekly. Sessions are held online. Whether I can work with you depends on where you are living at the time of the sessions and on the professional and legal requirements that apply there, so it is worth telling me your location when you first write.
Therapy is planned work, not emergency care. If you are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life and feel unable to keep yourself safe, contact your local emergency number or your nearest emergency department. Ongoing therapy can begin once you are safe.
Long-term work begins with one assessment
The first session is where we decide together whether this is the right form of help, and whether it can be provided safely online.