Relationship work
Online Couples Therapy
Structured, even-handed sessions for partners who keep having the same argument and want to understand what is underneath it.
Psy. Moustafa Kamel, Psychotherapist. Online sessions of 50 minutes in English and Arabic.
Most couples arrive late, and that is fine
By the time partners contact a therapist, the difficulty is usually years old and well rehearsed. Each of you can predict the other's next sentence. The subject changes, the shape of the argument does not.
Couples therapy is not a hearing in which I decide who is right. My work is to slow the cycle down enough that both of you can see it happening, and to make audible what each of you is actually protecting when the argument starts.
What couples bring
- Communication that turns into conflict within minutes
- The same disagreement returning in different clothes
- Emotional distance, living well as housemates and badly as partners
- Trust after a betrayal, and whether repair is realistic
- Loss of intimacy or a mismatch in closeness and desire
- Ongoing tension about money, family, parenting or in-laws
- Intercultural relationships negotiating two sets of expectations
- Couples living abroad, in different countries, or after a relocation
- Deciding whether to continue, and doing that decently if the answer is no
How the sessions are structured
We begin together. Depending on what emerges, I may then meet each of you once individually before returning to joint sessions, which gives each partner a chance to speak freely without managing the other's reaction.
Sessions are structured. There are ground rules about interruption and about what happens when a conversation escalates, because without them the session simply reproduces the argument you are already having at home. I stay even-handed by design: my responsibility is the relationship in the room, not one side of it.
Between sessions I usually suggest something small and specific to try, agreed by both of you rather than assigned.
What can realistically change
I do not promise that every relationship improves, and I would be suspicious of anyone who did. Some couples find their way back to each other. Some conclude, with much less damage than they feared, that separating is the kinder outcome.
- Recognising the pattern early enough to interrupt it
- Repairing after conflict faster, and more honestly
- Saying the difficult thing before it becomes an accusation
- Understanding what each of you learned about closeness long before you met
- Rebuilding trust at a pace that reflects reality rather than impatience
- Making a clear decision about the future instead of drifting towards one
Common questions before the first session
If only one partner wants to come, that is worth saying out loud rather than treating as a disqualification. Individual sessions focused on the relationship are often valuable and sometimes open the door to joint work later.
If you are in different cities or countries, you can join the same session from separate places, though being in the same room is preferable when it is possible.
Practical details
Sessions are held by secure video in English or Arabic, and are 50 minutes long. Both partners need a private space and a stable connection. Sessions are held online. Whether I can work with you depends on where you are living at the time of the sessions and on the professional and legal requirements that apply there, so it is worth telling me your location when you first write.
Individual therapy remains available alongside couples work when it is clinically appropriate, and the range of what that covers is set out on the services page.
Therapy is planned work, not emergency care. If you are in immediate danger, or you are thinking about ending your life and feel unable to keep yourself safe, contact your local emergency number or your nearest emergency department. Ongoing therapy can begin once you are safe.
Book a first session together
The first appointment is a conversation, not an assessment of blame. You can also write first if one of you is still unsure.